Almost Awake
by gusenitsa
Summary: Killian's back, but it's not that simple (is it ever?) When the underworld still lurks behind his closed eyes, will they be able to face what Storybrooke is throwing at them. Canon compliant through the end of the season and taking off from where we left our beloved heroes! (also on tumblr since FF is being frustrating and not loading right now)
1. Chapter 1

**Almost awake**

 **Welcome to my newest haitus mc! Where I get to play with where things could go from here. Canon compliant through the end of the season and taking off from where we left our beloved heroes! Killian's back, but it's not that simple (is it ever?) When the underworld still lurks behind his closed eyes, will they be able to face what Storybrooke is throwing at them.**

 **Thanks to Nothingimposisbleonlyimprobable for the title, endless betaing and support, you're the best!**

* * *

Her feet didn't touch the ground again until Granny whistled at them and offered her a savior's discount on a room (10% off for every time she'd saved the world.) They broke apart laughing and Emma turned toward Granny, "and how many times would that be now?"

"Oh, I've lost count. But there is the matter of the busted fryers to account for still, so maybe we're even."

Emma grinned, "Hey, it was not my idea to take the whole building to Camelot," she nodded toward Hook, "put it on _his_ tab."

"Oh, don't think I won't!" Granny called back, stepping into the diner behind her patrons.

"Perhaps we should consider celebrating elsewhere, love," Killian commented, "before she starts thinking up creative ways for me to settle my debt."

"I don't know about celebrating," Emma replied, "That nap I promised is sounding really fantastic right now."

"Ah, well then perhaps an escort home? This is a …" he scratched behind his ear and Emma's smile grew wider, "a dangerous town."

She reached for his hand and laced her fingers through his, "Don't worry, pirate, I'll protect you."

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers, "I've no doubt."

She didn't loosen her grip on his fingers until she had tugged him safely through the door of their house. The comfortable silence suddenly felt strange, the entryway echoing with dark words that seemed from so long ago now and yet suddenly so close.

"Do you um...do you want a drink, Killian?"

"Fastest way to a pirate's heart, aye?" He regretted the words the instant they passed his lips but it was too late to prevent her face from falling. "I'm sorry- I just-"

"I know. It's… Do you want to go to the Jolly instead?" she asked. He smiled half-heartedly and she shook her head. "I guess I ruined that too didn't I? Our lunches…"

"You didn't ruin it, love," he glanced around the room. "This place, it was to be our future. Our… white picket fence life, as you put it."

"And now there's a dungeon in the basement."

"Aye," he chuckled, "there is indeed a dungeon in the basement."

"We don't have to stay here. We can go back to Granny's-"

"No, love, I meant this to be our safe harbor. I do not mean to yield it to dark memories."

"So we make new ones," Emma insisted, moving into the kitchen and finding two glasses. She poured a small amount into each but suddenly she put down the bottle with an abrupt thud. "Screw it. I don't want to drink."

Before he had time to say a word she was in his arms burying her face into his chest, breaths shaky. Killian closed his arms around her, hand rubbing up and down her back soothingly. The house was empty and quiet, but somehow the quiet didn't seem like such a bad thing when she could hear his heartbeat slow and steady under her ear.

"Come on, let's get some sleep. Before someone crashes through that door and tells us that Granny's is ablaze."

She nodded and he took her hand to lead her upstairs. He helped her out of her jacket, tossing it as well as his own onto a nearby chair. Emma toed off her boots and crawled onto the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers, much less consider changing into pajamas. Perhaps if she were less exhausted she would have found it more awkward, spending their first night in their own home... but at the moment she was too tired to feel anything but relief. She barely gave him the time to remove his own boots before she dragged him down next to her, eyelids already drooping, however much she struggled to keep them open.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she curled in closer to him. "Sleep, love," he draped his arm over her, hook toying carefully with her ponytail.

The whole thing still felt like a dream. Being back here with her was more than he'd thought possible when he'd walked down that white hallway. The one that was too vibrant, too bright to be anything of this world. He was still so tired, though. Too tired to be anything but alive.

None of this made any sense. Nothing had since the moment Arthur had walked into that diner. A quest, with the man who killed him. That somehow ended in him simply walking back into Storybrooke. It was insanity.

 _Maybe it is._

He tightened his arms around Emma. It didn't have to make sense. She's here, she's alive and he's-

 _Dead._

He could feel his heart beating in his chest, feel his lungs burn when he held his breath. He could feel the race of life in his veins but-

 _Wake up._

He closed his eyes and pulled Emma tighter. He shouldn't squeeze her so hard. She needed her rest, desperately. It had been weeks since she'd slept properly and if he wasn't careful he would deprive her of even this short respi-

 _She won't wake._

His eyes shot open to see the clouded eyes of the blind witch watching him with unnerving intensity.

"You know if you're going to sleep there I'll have to charge you extra?"

He shot upright in the booth looking around in horror, "No."

The blind witch smiled, "Aww, poor dear, I thought I smelled a good dream. They go away eventually."

"This can't be. How-?"

"Had something to do with Excalibur..." Killian turned just as Arthur slid into the booth. "I don't think I ever properly apologized for that."

"What am I doing here, where is Emma?"

"Captain?" Arthur asked quietly watching the pirate with concern, " Are you alright?"

"No. I'm not bloody alright, how the hell-"

Arthur stood and grabbed Killian's arm; leading him forcefully him out of the diner without another word. Killian managed to dislodge his grip just as Arthur gave him a shove into the wall outside.

"Pull yourself together, man," Arthur growled. "I don't know what the hell you're dreaming about but if they think you're cracking… they'll eat you alive down here. You know this."

"I was back. I was in Storybrooke, Zeus he sent me back-"

"Sounds like a lovely dream, Captain, but Zeus sent you back _here_. Apparently your business is not yet complete."

"No."

"Captain-"

"I need to see the book. Where is the book?"

"We hid it, yesterday," Arthur sighed. "How much of that swill did you drink last night?"

"Show me."

Arthur shook his head and led Killian down the street, eventually arriving outside Liam's bar. The book was hidden underneath and Killian snatched it when Arthur pointed it out.

Flipping through the pages Killian finally found a picture of Emma in front of a tombstone. His fingers drifted over the picture, lingering on her tearstained face. He tore his eyes from the picture to read the text next to it.

 _"I know I should be happy but it just feels like now you're really gone and there's nothing left to do but just... I miss you…"_

Arthur placed his hand on Hooks' shoulder when he saw tears come to the pirate's eyes.

"I was there," Killian insisted, "how else would I know?" His eyes flicked to the next page, where Arthur could see another picture. A coffin covered in arrows fletched with roses. "How else would I have known?"

Arthur took the book from Killian's hand and set it on the bar carefully.

"These words... they appeared yesterday. We read them before hiding the book here. Then you did your best to empty whatever liquor was left in this place. Given the effect those words had on you it only seems fitting that they should make an appearance in your dreams."

"It wasn't a dream. I know it wasn't a dream." There was a look of pity in the King's eyes now and Killian looked away, the sight cutting him more deeply than any blade could. He sank onto a stool his head falling into his hand, "It wasn't a dream."

 _It wasn't a dream._

 _It wasn't a dream._

 _It's just a dream_

 _"Killian, wake up. Killian!"_

His eyes snapped open and Emma was hovering over him, her eyes wrinkled in concern. "Killian?"

He reached out and pulled her down, fusing his lips to hers in sudden desperation. "Hey," she whispered when he pulled away to breathe, "you're okay now."

His hand rose to her face and he brushed his fingers along her cheek, "You're here. You're… Swan…" He pulled her down again and held her tight. When he opened his eyes he saw that night had fallen while they slept and a grey predawn light was filtering in through the glass. He started, "Swan, your boy. I'm sorry, I didn't intend to sleep so long, I just…"

"Henry's fine. We already talked about it, he's spending some time with Regina. So she doesn't have to be alone right now."

"He's a good lad."

"He really is…" Emma smiled, but Killian looked distracted, his eyes flitting around the room like he was still trying to center himself. "Hey…" Emma asked, drawing his eyes back to her. "Do you wanna go walk? By the docks or something, I could use some fresh air." Killian nodded, obvious relief in his eyes.

He relaxed visibly by the water, breathing deeply the salty air. The sky was brightening gradually and Emma looked over at him, spotting shadows on his skin that she hadn't noticed the day before. She moved closer and raised one hand to his neck where she could see bruises developing, the obvious marks of fingers on his throat.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Hyde," he replied.

"My parents left that part out of the story," Emma grumbled, her hands beginning to glow as her magic soothed away the developing marks.

"Likely didn't wish to worry you. I seem to have the effect of inspiring murderous rage far too frequently for my own good."

"I, for one, can attest to that." They turned to face the new voice and saw David carrying Neal towards them.

"Dad, everything okay?"

"Oh yeah, Neal was just a little fussy. Thought we'd take a walk and let his mother sleep."

David walked with them for a while but before long Emma was yawning visibly, sorely missing her almost-morning coffee.

"You should go back to bed, love," Killian suggested. "I'm certain your father can keep me out of trouble for a short time."

"I'm fine, I'm awake" she protested, stifling another yawn.

Killian grinned and glanced down at Neal. "Tell your sister to get some sleep, will you lad?"

Neal obliged with come incoherent sleepy babbling and Emma laughed. "Well, if my brother insists." She kissed Killian and her father on the cheek and ruffled Neal's hair affectionately before hurrying back home in search of either coffee or bed, she hadn't quite decided which yet.

"Your neck," David commented. "Looks better. Emma fix that up for you?"

"She's a marvel."

"And you. Are you all right, Hook? You haven't really had much time to acclimate. Since… well… coming back."

"I'll survive."

David shook his head. "Don't you ever feel you're tempting fate, saying that all the time?"

Killian chuckled and the prince's eyes narrowed. "It's not funny." David peered at him with sudden intensity. "We buried you. Damn it, Killian, I attended two funerals in as many days… We lost you and Robin, Emma was heartbroken-"

"I'm sorry, mate. If I could have spared you…"

"I know." David shook his head. "I know you didn't intend to, but sometimes … Hook, I've seen you fight."

"I'm … not sure I'm following, mate."

"You're brave, and I respect that, truly. But you've spent 200 years fighting like someone who has nothing left to lose. You can't do that anymore. You have to protect your life, as you would hers now. Because living for her... that's part of true love. Do you understand?"

Killian nodded, unable to get any words past the lump that had risen in his throat.

"Good, because I'd really like to be done burying my friends," David glanced down at Neal who was finally sleeping contently, "and I think it's time I got Neal back to his warm bed."

 _Mate?_

 _Are you even listening, mate?_

"What the hell?" Killian exclaimed, looking around frantically. David, Neal, the docks were all gone, and in their place was the interior of a bar, dark wood panelling and deep red cloth-covered booths scattered around the room.

"More or less," Arthur replied with a shake of his head. "You seem really out of it, Jones. Perhaps you should drink something that didn't come out of a flask." He pushed a glass of water toward Killian, who reached for it with trembling fingers.

"Can't handle it like you used to, eh?" the King grinned as Killian downed the water in two long gulps then tossed the glass behind the bar where it splintered out of sight. Arthur raised his eyebrows.

"This is madness," Killian grumbled, glancing over at where the book lay open on the bar. "I have to wake up."

"Captain-" Arthur started.

"Don't," Killian snapped. "I don't know what this is, but just don't."

"Don't what? Don't tell you that you're raving like a madman? Denial, Captain. You once forced me to give up mine, I intend to repay that debt."

"I'm not mad," Killian whispered. "I was there."

"You were _here_ ," Arthur retorted in exasperation. "Tell me Hook, which seems the more likely tale? That it was a pleasant dream, or that the ruler of the gods themselves found himself enamored by your heroic quest and restored a dead heart to life? Just because he was feeling benevolent?"

"For my aid," Killian said defensively, "in defeating Hades…"

"And did I not aid in that quest? Am I not entitled to return to my queen, as payment for my share in the victory? And what of your friend? Was he not even more instrumental to the downfall of Hades than you or I? And yet your book speaks of a funeral?"

"Because the crystal destroys all trace of-"

"Or maybe it is because the dead have no place returning to the living?" Arthur sighed. "I am sorry you've lost your love, Captain, but living in a fantasy will not help you keep the promise you made her."

"And how exactly do you suggest I keep my promise?" Killian spat. "I don't… maybe I don't know how to move on without her."

"Let her go, Captain." Arthur said, his voice surprisingly gentle, "Put that book away and help me repair _this_ broken kingdom. And then move on… as you promised her."

Killian nodded half-heartedly and Arthur shut the storybook, offering it to Killian. He accepted it carefully, tracing the words on the cover with his hook for a moment before returning it to its place below the bar.

 _"We should hurry, before Grumpy gets all the bacon."_

Killian looked up in confusion and was once more greeted with familiar green eyes. For a moment his jaw dropped and he couldn't say a word.

"Killian?" Emma asked with a half-amused smile, "You haven't heard a word I've said have you?"

He looked around him, desperately trying to center himself in a world that no longer seemed stable under his feet. They were outside Granny's and the dawn light seemed to have broken through some time ago. He took a deep breath to steady himself before looking at Emma again. He'd seen a lot of crazy things in his time, but never had he managed to have a dream while walking down the street with the love of his life.

"David...?" he asked, "Where did he go?"

"David? I mean, I guess he went home. Look, I know you're tired, if you didn't want to have breakfast here you could have said no when I called you."

"You called me?" he asked, confused.

Emma's smile fell in an instant. She reached for his hand, squeezing gently. "Killian, what's going on?"

"I don't… I don't know what's happening to me."

"Hey," she whispered, pulling on his hand when he wouldn't meet her eyes. "Don't pull away from me, Killian. Talk to me. What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I don't … Emma does this seem strange to you. Zeus just decides to drop me back into Storybrooke. Right next to you, exactly the place I most want to be in all the realms?"

Emma tightened her grip on his hand. "I told you, I don't care how, I only care that you're home now."

"I need to know how."

"How you came back?" Emma's eyebrows furrowed, "I'm not sure it's a good idea to be questioning the goodwill of a god."

"I need to know. Emma this…" He hesitated for only a moment before resigning himself, she was going to think he was mad, more than likely. "I need to know this is real."

He'd hardly gotten the words out of his mouth before she had pulled him forward, pressing her lips to his in a kiss that made his heart... god, his heartbeat...pound in his ears. His arms wrapped around her instinctively and he could feel her fingers scratching through his hair as she pressed herself to him as closely as she could manage.

"Does that _feel_ real," she challenged, eyes sparkling.

His reply was hardly more than a croak and the word ' _yes'_ never made it past his lips before she was kissing him again. It felt real. It felt more real than anything he'd felt in centuries…

"Emma," he groaned when she pulled away, "don't go. Please."

"Killian, talk to me," she begged, "let me help you."

"Where's your boy?" Killian asked, and the look on her face told him that this was yet another thing that he should have known.

"He was going to meet us here, have breakfast with us."

"Can we go home?" he asked quietly.

She pulled out her phone, presumably to text Henry. then reached out and took his hand; in an instant their surroundings changed and panic made his stomach clench.

 _No!_

His breath came faster and his heart… his heart… he could still feel his heart pounding? Could still feel her arms around his neck and when the smoke cleared she was still here.

He looked away from her and he knew the moment that he did so that it was the last thing in the world he should have done. In an instant her hand was on his cheek forcing his eyes back to her. "Killian?" she asked, eyebrows furrowing when she saw the panic in his eyes.

"You'll think me mad. Hell, Emma, I think me mad."

"Tell me."

"I keep going back. Emma, I close my eyes and you're gone and I'm back trapped in the underworld with no way back to you."

"I know, Killian-"

"No, you don't. I'm not speaking in some bloody metaphor. I have no memory of anything that happened after speaking to your father this morning." He watched her cautiously for any sign of disbelief but she kept her face carefully calm.

"Like...like a memory curse?" she asked.

"Not a memory curse. Emma. I don't remember because I remember something else. I remember being back in the underworld." She went very still for a moment, and he resisted the sudden urge to shake her, to make her say something. To make her feel the terror clawing its way through his gut when he thought that at any moment he might be pulled back…

"Whatever magic this is, we'll figure it out," she said calmly. A breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding came out in a sigh of relief.

 _I'm not mad. I'm not mad. I'm not mad._

"Tell me, love," he said, his voice just above a whisper. "When I'm… here. Am I behaving ... like myself?"

She shrugged, "You didn't really say much, but I assumed you were… just tired." He wasn't sure if her answer relieved or terrified him. "Maybe it's a… a different kind of memory curse," she offered uncertainly.

He took a shaky breath. "I can't go back there, Emma," he whispered. "I can't keep bouncing between two worlds. I'm… " He swallowed hard, looking down quickly before snapping his gaze back up to her, afraid beyond words that losing sight of her would send him instantly back to the Underworld. She reached out her hand, softly touching his cheek as she watched him, waiting. "I'm afraid I'm losing my mind," he managed finally.

She shook her head and pulled him into a tight hug. "You are _not_ losing your mind, Killian Jones. We will figure out who is doing this, and stop them, like we always do." She paused considering, "Maybe we can find something in the library?"

Killian chuckled grimly, "Ah yes, the library. Mountains of dusty texts will certainly solve our dilemma" Emma's expression fell and Killian swallowed hard, "I'm sorry. That was... I didn't-"

"You're right," she interrupted. "I'm not exactly an expert on history of magic. I have no idea where to start. Gold is missing, Regina's … well I don't think either of them are in a particularly helpful mood right now. But Killian this started after Gold tied the town's magic to the crystal. Right? Maybe something went wrong. Maybe-"

Killian nodded, "Maybe it's time for us to hunt down a crocodile."

 _"I prefer furs, to scales, darling."_

Killian winced, keeping his eyes closed a moment longer in stubborn denial of what he knew he would see when he opened them. His closed eyes did not keep the red light of the underworld from his eyes, and they certainly didn't keep the smug tones of Cruella's voice from his ears. "Where's the book, my delectable darlings?"

* * *

 **Alrighty then my delectable darlings, so Killian's a little crazy?**

 **Next chapter up soon. Everything's written, but I have a love affair with last minute editing about 30000 times.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Almost awake (Part 2 of 5)**

 **When the underworld still lurks behind his closed eyes, will they be able to face what Storybrooke is throwing at them.**

* * *

 _Killian winced, keeping his eyes closed a moment longer in stubborn denial of what he knew he would see when he opened them. His closed eyes did not keep the red light of the underworld from his eyes, and they certainly didn't keep the smug tones of Cruella's voice from his ears._

 _"Where's the book, my delectable darlings?"_

There was the grate of metal sliding against metal, the familiar sound of a blade slipping from its sheath and Killian knew he couldn't hide any longer. His eyes snapped open, taking in his surroundings as his hand moved to his own blade.

"Gone," Arthur replied easily, "lost in the defeat of Hades, as we've told you before."

"Pity," Cruella replied, "You were born to lead, and you ally yourself with a drunken pirate instead." She sighed as though pained. "As I've told you, I don't believe you. And what's more, I've kept my promise. How many more, your majesty?"

"You cannot rule a kingdom of no subjects," Arthur spat.

"Oh, but you vastly overestimate how many subjects I need. So… why don't you and the Captain put those well-groomed heads together and make a decision. And until you do," Cruella shrugged flippantly, "I'll just have to keep tossing the peasants into the river." She smiled at them, and let the door of the diner slam closed behind her.

 _The river?_ The words echoed in Killian's head, and he didn't realize he had said them aloud until Arthur was in front of him again.

"Yes, the river, Captain. And if you are not careful you'll take a swim yourself before we can find a way to free them."

The fog around his mind cleared in an instant and he looked up at Arthur in surprise.

"Free them?"

"Have you changed your mind, Captain? Do you no longer wish to free the souls trapped due to the cruelty of Hades and Cruella?"

"Hades told me they were lost, are you saying there's a way to bring them back?" He didn't hear Arthur's answer because suddenly he was sitting in the library back in Storybrooke.

His head spun for a moment, this was the first time he'd been dragged back with eyes open and the sensation made him nauseous, like the spinning of the Jolly when passing through a portal, only this time he'd no warning and nothing to cling to.

Emma was asleep on the desk in front of him, splayed awkwardly over a pile of books with a half empty coffee cup sitting next to her. The book in front of him was some text about dream curses. On impulse he stood, diving back into the shelves with a different goal firmly set in his mind. He instead gathered every book he could find on the greek underworld and the rivers that flowed through it.

Some time later he was jolted from his reading by a small chuckle. He glanced up and saw Emma was looking at him with a combination of incredulity and amusement. The lines of the book she'd been using as a pillow were pressed into her cheek and her eyes were still half-closed with sleepiness.

"Is that… greek again?" she asked.

"It is," he replied, reaching to brush an errant strand of sleep mussed hair from her face. She closed her eyes at his touch, letting out a small sleepy sigh of pleasure that made a smile split his face. "What does it say?"

"It's a discussion of the rivers of the underworld and the properties of the waters flowing therein. I think I've found s-"

"The underworld?" She interrupted, suddenly fully awake. "Why are you reading about the rivers of the underworld? Did Hades give you something, do you think that could be causing your memory loss?"

"No, love, it's just, I hoped I might find something useful, some way to counter the power of the river."

"And how would you get that information there if you found it," Emma asked, her tone growing more and more concerned by the moment. "Killian," Emma begged, not giving him a moment to answer. "We can't fight this if you half-believe it's real. I need you here, with me."

"I'm here, Emma," he clasped her hand and pressed it to his lips.

She nodded tersely, the worry in her eyes making her forehead crinkle again. "You weren't earlier though, were you? When we spoke to Regina. When you're quiet like that, it's not because you're tired, is it?"

He shook his head, "Did you find something while I was… you know?"

"Well Regina did. It seems there's a new player in town. You remember Mr. Hyde."

"Bloody Hell."

"Yeah. He's here, apparently. And Gold has somehow sold the town out to him. Killian there's a lot of… unknown magic flying around right now, and I can't help but think that it has to be related."

Killian nodded and Emma pulled away, surprised when he let her leave his arms without so much as a word of protest.

"Killian?" she repeated. He nodded again and looked at her but a knot was tightening around her stomach. "Killian, please? Don't go?"

He nodded.

With anxiety building, she pulled him to his feet. He came without protest as she dragged him from the library to her car. He put on his seatbelt, and didn't ask where they were going.

* * *

"Whale!" she cried, making nurses stare in disapproval. "Where is he?" she asked the closest nurse.

"I believe one of the dwarves… overindulged a bit on-"

"Get him here."

"Is there a problem?" the nurse asked.

"It's an emergency. Get him. Now."

After 3 minutes Emma sat Killian down in a chair in the emergency room and marched in the direction of the most noise. When she found the doctor he was just finishing hooking up one of the dwarves to an IV after they'd likely spent a good chunk of the morning vomiting up his 'indulgences'. Emma grabbed him and bodily dragged him from the room, much to the good doctor's annoyance. When they reached Killian, Whale had pulled himself free of Emma's grip and looked Killian over with a critical eye.

"Would you care to explain why you've just torn me from my patient for no reason?"

"Your patient is hung over. This is more important," she insisted. "Killian's not... right, I need you to tell me if anything is medically wrong."

"Besides a statistical propensity for scurvy?"

"Whale... If anytime is the right time for a medical check up, don't you think post dying is one of those times?"

"Fine," Whale sighed, eyeing Killian and seeing nothing obviously amiss. "What exactly is wrong with him?"

"Killian get up," Emma asked. He obeyed, standing easily and watching them with apparent interest.

Whale shrugged, "Emma I know you've been under a lot of stress. If you need someone to talk to perhaps Archie-"

"Killian, I was thinking we could host a garden party for dark ones." she said abruptly, "Just us and Gold. We could invite Belle to be his plus one but we'd have to set up a cot."

Killian nodded vaguely but said nothing and the doctor cocked his head to one side. He moved behind Killian then said his name and Killian turned around to face the doctor.

"His hearing isn't impaired. How long has he been like this?"

"It's been coming and going and it's getting more frequent. This is the first time it's happened when it was just the two of us. Before I just assumed he was tired from … you know the whole… death thing."

"Let's get him into a room. We should probably run some… tests of… some kind."

"Your confidence is awe-inspiring," Emma grumbled.

"Yes, well feel free to take him to another hospital," Whale retorted, leading Killian back into a room.

They did every type of scan that Whale had equipment for and after a couple hours he leaned against the wall with a sigh. "The only extraordinary thing about this man is that he's in as good of health as he is, given his age."

"So there's nothing, nothing to explain why he hasn't said a word in three hours?"

"Brain scans are all within normal parameters, no unusual swelling or residual damage. Emma I don't think medicine has the answer you need."

Emma stalked out of the room, thinking only of coffee and how to tell her mother that she was at the hospital without giving her a panic attack before she could get the rest of the explanation out.

 _What explanation?_ she thought bitterly. She hadn't really expected Whale to have an answer for her, but she had to admit after everything Killian had been through, it was nice to know that he'd come back without physical damage.

Suddenly there was a crash from behind her and she heard Killian's voice ringing down the hall. "Where the bloody hell is she?"

She turned around and raced back to the room, running into his arms before he had a chance to destroy any more of the doctor's equipment.

"How long?" he whispered, tightening his arms around her.

"Hours, Killian. I brought you here when I realized you weren't responding to anything. The doctor couldn't find anything medically wrong with you…"

"What if this isn't an accident, or a delusion? What if this is my purpose, being able to travel back and forth, I could help to-"

"You haven't gone _anywhere_. Killian, you've been here with me, you've hardly left my sight since you returned from that place."

"Not physically perhaps but-"

Emma's jaw tightened and she took his hand, "Don't do this, Killian. Don't try to live in two worlds. This is real, I need you to believe that. I need you to stay here, with me-"

"I'm not planning on leaving you, love." He pulled her closer and dropped his head to her shoulder, "but if I can help them- the lost souls- if I can help them find peace and still return home to you. Should I not try?"

Emma stiffened. "It's getting longer. Every time you leave it's getting longer. If this is magic, Killian, then maybe… maybe how long you stay there is determined by how real you believe it to be?"

"What would you have me do, Emma? Close my eyes, hide under my brother's bloody bar until it goes away?" A tear slipped down her cheek and he brushed it away carefully with his thumb. "I'm not trying to hurt you, my love, truly. And I'm not certainly not trying to leave you, I'm just… I'm just trying to survive without going mad. Do you understand?"

She buried her head into his shoulder. "Please Killian… don't… don't do anything there that could risk your ability to come home to me. Even if that place is real, I can't lose you to it again."

"You have my word, Emma. Without hesitation, I will always choose you."

She nodded, seemingly placated.

"Can we get out of here now?" Killian asked. "I don't think the doctor has the answers we need."

"No, and neither do those library books. I think it's time we went to the source. But at least we know one thing now, Killian."

"What's that?"

"You're the healthiest dead guy to ever have been discharged from this hospital."

* * *

 **Yes, rapid fire updates! such things happen when it's all written before I post chapter 1! Also, I know,** **it's a short chapter for me. I just published the last chapter yesterday, don't give me any of your grumbling! Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!**

 **Did she really think Whale was going to have answers? Probably not, I guess that's one thing checked off the list!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Part 3 of 5**_

Mr. Hyde had a temper. One that he either couldn't or had no desire to control. Which meant, for Emma, it was the easiest manhunt that she'd ever led. Within hours there had been five reports of assaults across town, the last three in the Rabbit Hole. They met Snow and David outside the bar and Emma chuckled when she saw that Snow had supplemented her usual weaponry with a taser. Probably a good idea considering Regina was still holed up in her vault, not letting Henry out of her sight and trying to figure out what Gold had done to give Hyde power over the town.

"Ready?" David asked, pausing outside the door. They nodded and David kicked in the door with (likely unnecessary) force. What awaited them was not exactly what they expected. The bar was nearly empty, only Hyde remained with one terrified barkeep serving his every need. Which… in this case appeared to mostly consist of whisky.

"Ah, my friends." Hyde drawled, "How very kind of you to finally arrive. I was wondering if I'd have to start killing off the townsfolk to get your attention."

"You've got our attention," Charming retorted, "now how about you tell us what you really want. Certainly you didn't come here just to terrify the population of Storybrooke?"

"Only a pleasant side effect, I assure you," Hyde replied amiably.

"He's stalling," Hook growled.

"Quite right, Captain," Hyde agreed. "Oh yes, I know all about you now. All of you, in fact. The dark secrets you hide all written clear as day in that lovely book the boy keeps." He turned back to Hook. "But you, _you_ are fascinating. Captain Hook and Killian Jones. We have more in common than you might suppose, Captain."

To Emma's surprise the challenge went unanswered and she looked over at Killian in confusion. His eyes were cold and vacant and she swallowed hard, _No. Not now._

"Nothing to say, Captain?" Hyde grinned predatorily and stood, and Emma instinctively moved between the threat and the less-than-responsive Killian. She could feel her magic prickling along her skin as Hyde stepped towards her. She raised her hands to release a blast of magic to push him away but before she could do so a sickly looking green serum had splashed over her hands and she felt her magic sputter, quenched like a guttering candle.

"You didn't think I'd come unprepared did you?" Hyde asked, and next thing she knew she was flying across the room. An unfortunately located table halted her flight and she struggled to get her bearings as Hyde tossed her parents aside like rag dolls as well. He advanced on Killian, pulling a red serum from his pocket.

"No!" Emma called on her magic again, desperately trying to find the power that had been hers mere moments before. There was nothing and before she could even get to her feet Hyde had injected a red liquid into Killian's arm.

By the time she reached Killian's side again Hyde was halfway to the door, he turned and grinned at them, "Enjoy, Captain." He closed the door behind him and Emma turned back to Killian.

"Killian? Killian, hey. Come on, wake up."

"What the hell?" David asked, "Why didn't he fight back?"

"Emma, what was that?" her mother asked worriedly. "If it's anything like what Regina used-"

Before her mother had the chance to voice her worries Killian's eyes shot open, landing on each of them in turn for a moment, taking in his surroundings.

"Killian?" Emma asked hesitantly.

"I prefer Hook."

His hand reached for his blade and Emma took a step back. She hadn't realized how much she had come to rely on her magic until this moment. She hadn't even brought her weapon, she'd been so sure her magic would be all the weapon that she needed.

"Killian, please. Please come back."

He smirked and raised his blade, bringing it down just as David moved in front of her, blocking the attack with ease.

"What. The. Hell. Are you doing?" David seethed.

Hook chuckled, "I was using a blade when your grandparents were yet herding sheep, _your majesty_. Do not cross me. "

The sound of metal on metal echoed through the bar as Emma tried again and again to call to her magic, to make this stop, to make _him_ stop. Suddenly Hook cried out and fell, the prongs of Snow's taser lodged firmly in his back. She pulled away when he stilled and dropped next to him to see if he was still breathing.

"He's alive," Snow murmured. Dave sheathed his sword and pulled out his handcuffs, locking them around Killian's wrist and brace before turning to Emma.

"What just happened?"

"It's the serum-" she started.

"I know about the serum, Emma, But what I want to know is why the hell Killian let Hyde inject him with it. And here's a question I never thought I'd ask… why are we not looking at two of him."

"Because Killian wasn't there when it happened. Not really. And now," Emma tore her eyes away from where Hook lay, and took a steadying breath, "now I don't know if he can come back. Not while Hook is…"

Snow moved closer and hugged her daughter tightly, eyes sympathetic, if still confused. "Emma, honey," she whispered. "I think you'd better start at the beginning."

"Not here," Emma sighed, "He's… we have to get him to the station before he wakes. The handcuffs won't hold him for long."

* * *

"NO!" Killian cried in frustration, "not now. Please, not now." It was no use. Hyde and the Rabbit Hole were gone leaving only the bizarre red light of the underworld in their place.

"Ah, so you've returned, Captain," Arthur murmured under his breath.

Killian glanced at Arthur in surprise, "No chastisements this time, your majesty? No speeches about destiny and heroics and all things questing…"

"Sod off," Arthur grumbled.

Despite the nerves in his stomach about what was happening topside, Killian glanced at Arthur curiously. He'd long since learned he had no say in when he returned to Emma, so he might as well figure out what had the usually overly exuberant King in such a foul mood.

"What has you in such poor temper?"

"Our quest has ended in failure," Arthur groaned. "There is no way for the dead to free the dead."

"But the text I discovered? The-"

"The final ingredient, I found it. It's Ambrosia. Something you know full well no longer grows in this realm."

"Of course it's bloody ambrosia," Killian grumbled, his fist clenched and unclenched in frustration. Every moment he was here Emma lingered in that room with that demon Hyde. And something about the way he was stalling made Killian nervous, as though he knew it would be mere moments before he was dragged away, dragged back here.

But there was no use in sulking. He'd be drawn back to Emma eventually and no amount of cursing, drinking or moping would get him there a single moment sooner. He told himself that, every hour as the clock moved persistently forward.

But he'd never lingered here this long.

It wasn't until night fell and the red sun dipped below the horizon that he truly felt fear.

* * *

Emma sat patiently outside the door of the cell waiting for Killian... for Hook to wake. Some small part of her still hoped that this was temporary; that the effects of the serum would simply fade and bring Killian back to her when he woke. But his eyes hadn't been open more than a second when she knew that this was not her Killian. He didn't even try to trick her. He knew her as well as she knew him. He cursed under his breath and set to work on the handcuffs.

"You attacked me," she said coldly.

"Perceptive as always, Swan. Are these really necessary?" he asked irritably. "You know they won't hold me."

"No, they're not. I just like the look on you,"

"Playing the tough lass for me, are you?" Hook grinned, "shall I pretend I don't notice then?"

"Notice what?" she retorted.

"Oh come now love, don't insult me. You're white as a fresh sail. You're barely holding it together, so enough with these games."

"What do you know of Hyde?" she asked, ignoring his observation.

"Only that he is responsible for the serum that freed me."

"So now you're going to play his lapdog?"

"Hardly," Hook shot back. "But if you are attempting to recruit my help, I'll have you know I have no intention of being your lapdog either."

"He's using you. You're nothing more than a distraction, to keep us occupied while he solidifies his grasp on this town."

"You're only a pawn if you don't know you're being used, Swan, remember?"

"And Killian? You don't give a damn what happens to him, I suppose?"

"The fact that I'm here and he isn't tells me it's him or me. I choose me, _love_."

She stood and stalked out the door, letting it slam behind her dramatically. What was far less dramatic was the way she leaned against the door when it closed, her legs gone weak at the knees and her breathing coming in shaking gasps as she tried to steady herself.

"That good?" David asked, moving to her side instantly.

"It's like talking to the dark one again," she murmured under her breath.

"Want your mother to taser him?"

"Funny," Emma grumbled, smiling in spite of herself.

"No permanent scarring," David offered, "He'd never forgive us, you know… when we get him back."

"How?" Emma asked, quietly.

"We'll find a way."

"Hyde, I need to talk to Hyde again," she insisted.

"Emma, without your magic… he's too strong."

"True," she admitted, "But I don't think the serum was permanent." Emma held out her hands and a small glowing orb flickered dimly in her palm.

"It's coming back," David said.

Emma nodded. "And if that serum wasn't permanent, perhaps the other ones aren't either." She glanced back towards the door of the station. "Someone has to stay here with him. The cell won't hold him for long. I'm going to go have a little chat with Hyde."

David's eyebrows went up. "Your magic is not fully recovered. You can't fight him now."

"Not planning on fighting him," she admitted. "One thing I've learned about villains. They love to talk about how clever they are. I'm going to give him the chance to do that."

* * *

 _Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!_

 _Shall we see if Hyde is susceptible to the evil monologuing of self-destruction?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Always Awake: _Part 4 of 5_**

* * *

Killian had spent days trapped in this red-hazed land with no sign of getting back to Emma anytime soon. He'd filled his days with research with the King, trying to find some way around the final ingredient, the one that would let them free the souls lost to the river. But his mind was distracted, wondering constantly what was happening above, why he hadn't returned to Emma as he had every other time.

Perhaps he was dead. Again. He'd been dragged here in the middle of a fight. Perhaps Hyde had taken the opportunity to finish what he'd started. Had Emma been forced to watch Hyde strangle the life from him, docile and unresisting. Would her parents and her magic be enough to protect her from Hyde after he fell?

Had she fallen too? Had he abandoned her in the middle of a fight, to her end. The thought made him nauseous, but there was nothing he could do from here. The book no longer told him stories from above, he'd checked several times a day at first. All he could do now, apparently, was keep himself distracted.

"Captain!" Arthur sounded more himself than he had in days, which probably meant something good for their 'divine quest', as the King had taken to calling it lately. "Captain, I've found something. But I admit I read very little greek. But a few words here and there… take a look will you?"

Killian pulled himself from his thoughts to look at the book that Arthur had dropped in front of him, his eyes scanning the faded words quickly.

"Well, Captain," Arthur interrupted after a moment, "What is it, is this the answer we seek?"

"No," Killian replied quickly.

"No?" Arthur looked confused, "You've barely looked at the thing."

"It's little more than a map, mate, I'm sorry." Arthur cursed under his breath and moved to take the book away but Killian lowered his hook quickly to stop him. "It's late. Get some rest. I will endeavor to find something useful in these pages."

"You sure Captain? Cruella's minions are ever vigilant."

"Then so must I be." He sighed, "I do not think I'm … going anywhere anytime soon."

"No more dreams?" Arthur asked sympathetically.

"Not for many days."

"Probably for the best, mate. It is not wise to linger in a fantasy."

Killian shrugged noncommittally and Arthur clapped him on the shoulder before departing, leaving Killian with the book. He turned back to the pages with a grimace and reread the passage several times.

He should put the book away, throw it in the river and never think about it again. It's what Emma would wish, likely enough. But there it was, the solution they had sought for days.

There's only one problem. It too had its requirements. A heart filled with true love, done. The problem was in the next paragraph. A heart filled with true love can free the lost souls, by sacrificing itself to the waters.

If this place was real… Thousands could be freed. Maybe more. Milah might yet be allowed to move on. All he had to do was … give up. Yield any hope for returning to Emma and give himself to the waters.

It's what a _hero_ would do, isn't it? Her words echoed in his head, _don't do anything there that could risk your ability to come home to me_. Were they the words of a hero?

Perhaps Arthur was right. Perhaps Emma was no more than the fantasy of his broken mind, telling him what he wanted to hear. That he was needed, wanted, loved. Saved by the gods and delivered back to his happy ending, Him, a pirate. A villain.

He slammed the book closed and leaned back in his chair. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

When Emma arrived back at the Rabbit Hole it had not yet recovered its normal patronage. Instead, Hyde had taken to holding a court of a sorts there. Most of the population steered well clear, but there were always those that would flock to the biggest player in town. And as much as Emma hated to admit it, at the moment ... she wasn't even on the radar. And so she didn't kick in the door of the bar as she wanted to, instead pushing it open gently and entering with hands raised.

"I just want to talk," she called.

There was a deep chuckle from the corner of the room and Emma headed toward a corner table where Hyde watched her with interest.

"Do you, my dear? Funny how much more communicative people get when they've no power."

"Please-" She nearly choked on the word, it tasted bitter on her tongue, but she wanted him to gloat so she swallowed her bile and played demure. "Please, I just want to know what you've done with Killian."

Hyde chuckled again, "You should thank me. I've rid you of that weak creature and left you something far better. The _Captain_ is an ally worth having."

"He wasn't weak-" Emma argued, biting back her venom and keeping her voice as quiet and uncertain sounding as she could manage.

Hyde stood abruptly and advanced on her with madness in his eyes. "I could have ended him with a single squeeze." He raised his hand to her throat, and clenched his fist in front of her eyes and for the first time she did not have to feign fear. "He was pathetic. And he was easy to fix."

"You're the reason he was seeing things aren't you?" she asked, carefully steering the conversations towards a more useful form of gloating.

"A simple matter of clouding the mind. Allowing it to get lost in its dreams and nightmares. Your Killian was half lost before I even got to him." Hyde shrugged easily, sitting back down and leaning back in his chair.

"It isn't real, the things he'd been seeing? You did all that… with magic?"

"Of course. The serum brought out his stronger side, allowed it to bury its weakness deep inside. Eventually it will be lost and only the strong will remain. The second of many. You will thank me one day, when your time comes."

"And how do you know," she asked, "when someone's time comes?"

"Why when they begin to crack, of course. The Queen made it particularly easy. Splitting herself all on her own, and the Captain, already half-torn between Killian and Hook. But I don't need all that. The beginnings of a fissure is all I need. Just the tiniest … crevice."

Emma backed a step or two away but Hyde didn't seem inclined to follow, apparently he meant what he said about waiting for the right time. She burst out of the Rabbit Hole, and raced back towards the station.

Killian wasn't trapped in the underworld. He was trapped in his own mind. But he had promised, he had promised not to do anything that would risk his return. So all she had to do was wait. Wait for the serum to fade and for him to fight his way back to her. As he always had. As he promised he always would.

Snow was sitting outside the cell, her taser within reach when Emma arrived slightly out of breath and with enough desperation in her face that her mother jumped to her feet.

"Emma, are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

Emma stalked past her mother straight to the bars as she sized up the pirate inside. He was toying with his brace, seated on the edge of his cot, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"Swan. A pleasure, I'm sure."

"Killian I know you're in there so listen up. This isn't you. That serum will fade and you have to come back to me."

"Your enthusiasm is touching, my dear, but your puppy is dead. Give me back my hook, and perhaps we can come to some sort of arrangement-"

"Screw you, Hook. You're not him. You're nothing. You are a seed of darkness that he's kept bottled up for centuries. You feel powerful now? The only reason you broke free at all was because of that damn spell." She clasped the bars with both hands, and suddenly he moved, grabbing her wrist through the bars. Emma could hear her mother diving for the taser and hoped she had the sense not to use it while Hook's hand was locked around her wrist.

"You have no idea who you are dealing with, _Emma_ ," Hook seethed. "At his worst Killian Jones never gave me free reign. Not like this. And now that I am free of him, I will get out of this brig. And when I do, you do not want to be my enemy."

A flash of light shot from Emma's hands and Hook stumbled back and fell into the back wall of the cell. "You promised," she whispered. "You promised, damn it-"

Her mother came up behind her and took her arm, pulling her gently from the bars. "Emma, come on, let's take a walk, ok? Come on, Emma." Emma released the bars with a huff as her mother pulled her away from the cell and out into the hallway.

"What happened" Snow asked, "what did Hyde tell you?"

"My magic is back."

""That's good isn't it?"

"It means the serum has worn off, and Killian is still gone."

* * *

The door of the bar slammed open, hitting the wall with a crack and Killian winced, the sound echoing through his head like shards of glass. He shifted and an empty bottle toppled from the bar top onto the floor. He watched the glass scatter across the floor in mild fascination for a moment as Arthur stalked into the bar, an air of exasperation surrounding him like a thundercloud.

"Enough of this. How long are you going to stay in here, drinking yourself into madness?" Arthur seethed.

"Until I go back to her," his words were still slightly slurred, though whether it was from the alcohol or the sleep deprivation he wasn't entirely certain.

"You've been in here alone since-"

"Since Cruella discovered a hook through the neck hurts like hell, even if it can't strictly speaking kill you?"

Arthur sighed and pulled up a stool next to Killian, sliding a remaining half-full bottle away from the pirate. Killian eyed him disapprovingly, but made no further protest.

"Killian, what happened to you? A week ago you were helping me, we had a purpose; to find a way-"

"To free the lost souls," Killian finished, "Aye, I remember."

"You found something in that book, didn't you? The one I gave you-"

"I can't do it," Killian spat out.

Arthur leaned back, watching Killian carefully, "Can't do what?"

"I found it. But I can't do it."

"Then let me help you. Killian, this is our quest, our purpose, let me-"

"It's in the water, Arthur. A heart filled with true love can retrieve the final ingredient from the river of lost souls. But they will remain lost." Killian chuckled bitterly, "a hero's sacrifice or some such nonsense."

Arthur was quiet for a time and then he stood. "Then I have no time to lose. It is only fitting that I should be the one sacrificed, as restitution for the wrongs I have done."

Killian reached out without turning his head and snagged Arthur with his hook.

"Don't be a fool, your majesty. True love… is the most powerful magic in all the realms, do you really believe that you had such with your queen?"

Arthur's face fell, then his jaw tightened. "At least I am not craven enough to sit by and do nothing. Do they mean nothing to you? The lost ones? Your Milah?" Killian said nothing, staring into his long-empty glass intently. "Then I wish you joy, Captain. Many long joyful years, here in this bar alone with your cowardice."

Killian stood suddenly and turned, shoving Arthur backwards into the bar, "I am not-" Killian released his grip just as suddenly and backed off, his eyes falling apologetically. "I promised, Arthur. I promised her I would come home."

Arthur shook his head. "Then you lied to her, Captain. Because people don't come back from this place. People like us… we don't get happy endings."

* * *

David stopped putting the cuffs back on after Hook escaped them the fourth time. Hook nearly disarmed him by slipping one end of the cuffs around his blade and yanking it to the side, slamming him hard against the bars. If it weren't for Snow's aptly timed arrival, dropping off lunch on her way to pick up Neal; Hook would have been out the door and gone long before his ears stopped ringing.

So now he sat, ice pack on the lump on his forehead glaring at Hook who had retreated back to his cot when Snow asked him if he wanted an arrow through the other hand.

"You know I'll get out of here eventually, mate," Hook commented.

"Not your mate."

"After all we've been through Dave? Really, I expect more loyalty from people who have stabbed me."

"Want me to do it again?"

Hook shrugged, "We both know you won't."

"You seemed to back off pretty quick when Snow asked whether you really needed that other hand."

"Aye… was not so certain about her."

"Yeah, she's a tough one."

"We'll see," Hook mused.

David lowered the ice pack slightly to look at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Hook shrugged and David pulled out his phone to call Snow. It went instantly to voicemail.

"What did you do?" David seethed.

"I've been here, mate, keeping you company, what could I have done?"

"You're just a distraction," realized Charming in sudden horror.

Hook laughed, "Don't you think if I truly wanted out of this cell I would have left hours ago?"

David cursed and dropped the ice pack, sprinting from the station along the route he knew Snow would likely have taken. The door slammed behind him and Hook laughed, pulling out Snow's phone from his pocket with a grin, along with a set of his favorite lock picks.

* * *

 _ **Silly pirate... tricks are for... well pirates! One more chapter to go. Who's excited to see Hook get out of that ceeeeell**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Part 5 of 5 (FF)_**

* * *

When Emma's phone rang it woke her from the first nap she'd taken in days and she could hear the apology in her father's voice when she answered.

"Emma, I um- I know you were going to get some sleep but-"

"Spit it out, Dad."

"It's Hook. He's escaped. I'm so sorry, Emma. I thought Snow was in danger and I went after her and-"

"It's ok Dad, really," her exhaustion was creeping into her voice, but she did her best to hide it. "It was bound to happen eventually. He's good with locks."

"I think you should come stay with us," David said, "I don't like the idea of you in that house by yourself while Hook's … not himself."

"Any idea where he went?" she asked, slipping her boots on over the jeans she'd never managed to take off.

"He didn't exactly leave a note." David sighed, "I dunno, Emma, call your mother's cell. Maybe he'll pick it up."

"I'll be there in a few... ok?"

She hung up the phone and dropped it onto the bedside table, running her fingers through her hair in exasperation. It was bad enough when he was stuck in that cell and now... Grabbing her gun from her bedside table, she slipped it into its holster at her side, she was taking no chances on being rendered powerless by that serum again. Glancing around to be sure she had everything she hurried out into the hall, determined to drop by the kitchen to see if she had anything that resembled food she could grab on her way out the door. All thought of food vanished from her head the moment she entered the kitchen. Hook was sitting at the table, waiting for her.

"What the hell do you want, Hook?"

"So unwelcoming," he stood, moving toward her. "This was supposed to be our home. Couldn't it still be?" Emma drew her weapon and leveled it at him.

"That answer your question?" she asked venomously.

"Are you going to shoot me?" he laughed and it sent tingles up her spine. "After all the trouble you went to to bring me back?"

"Not unless you make me."

"I'm just checking on you sweetheart, you look tired. It's exhausting isn't it, fighting with yourself."

Emma scoffed, "What makes you think I'm fighting with myself?"

"I think..." He closed the distance between them in a few steps with a smirk. "I think that there is a part of you that likes this side of me, don't you love?" He raised his hook over her hand, slowly lowering the gun to her side as she glared up at him. "A small part perhaps, that liked the taste. The darkness, the freedom, I think you miss it. I can give you what _he_ never dared. I know you, Swan… and there's a part of you that doesn't want _him_ back."

Emma moved in a flash, slamming her heel onto his foot, making him stumble back cursing.

"I want _my_ Killian back," she hissed, "I will never want you."

"We'll see, won't we."

He turned and stalked from the house and Emma sank into one of her kitchen chairs, her body trembling in relief. She glanced down at the gun in her hands. Could she do it? If it came to that could she really? Even if it wasn't really h-

She jumped when her phone rang again and she ignored it. With a flick of her fingers she brought herself to her mother's living room, grateful for the one good thing she'd learned in her time as the dark one.

"I had a visitor," she said, wincing apologetically when Snow jumped at her sudden appearance.

"Are you okay?" David asked putting down his phone.

"I know what he wants now. It's that serum, he wants Hyde to use it on me, to bring back the darkness. He thinks we can be together that way."

Snow put down her tea and came up to her, wrapping her arms around Emma tightly. "We won't let that happen."

In her mother's arms she let herself be weak for a moment, a stray tear or two hiding itself in her mother's shoulder. "Seeing him like that," she whispered, "hearing him saying those things…"

"It wasn't him, Emma. You know that," Snow insisted. "How about we have a hot chocolate?" she continued. "That always makes you feel better, yes?" Emma pulled away when there was a quiet knock on the door.

"Who still knocks here?" Emma asked, confused. "Are we expecting someone?" Snow shook her head and Emma went to the door, At least if their visitor intended harm they'd probably not knock first, she reasoned, opening the door cautiously.

Outside stood Hook, she stiffened but his eyes were downcast and he looked exhausted.

"How long?" he whispered.

"Killian?" Emma's jaw dropped, "Killian," she sighed, half falling forward to wrap her arms tight around his neck, the door slammed behind her as she rushed through it.

"That long, eh?" he whispered. "I am sorry, love. I... got so lost."

She shook her head and pulled away, tugging on his arm. "Come on, come inside, we have a lot to talk about."

She pushed open the door and her parents were at the kitchen bar, talking quietly to each other, though she could not hear their words. She called out to them and they didn't so much as glance up at her.

Killian's grip tightened on her arm. "Don't… Don't leave."

"Leave?" she repeated, confused, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Please, Emma. Please don't leave me-"

She glanced back at her parents, still ignoring her entirely and then back to Killian's pleading face and her heart sank.

"This… this isn't real," she murmured.

"It could be. It could be real for us. Emma please, don't leave me alone here."

Tears filled her eyes and she dropped her head to his shoulder, the desperation in his voice breaking her heart into a million shards even as she told herself over and over that it wasn't true, wasn't real.

"I will find you again, Killian," she whispered intently. "I swear, I will find you." She pulled herself away abruptly, getting one last look at the panic in his eyes before stepping backwards through the door. Her vision swam and then she was sitting on the couch again, the apartment door closed and locked and silent. A sob tore itself from her throat and her parents started, hurrying over to her even as she tried to hold back the hot tears that burned her eyes.

"Emma-"

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Emma seemed to deflate and Snow quickly moved to take her in another hug, "Oh, Emma." David moved back over to the kitchen as Snow rocked Emma gently, murmuring comforting nonsense in her ear and by the time she finally pulled away there was a cup of hot chocolate sitting on the table next to her. She gave her father a watery smile and took a sip of the warm drink.

"We have a problem," Emma said, when she finally felt she could trust her voice again. "I just saw something that didn't happen." She shook her head at her parents inquiring looks, knowing if she said anything else the tears she didn't have time for would return in force. "That's Hyde's magic, and that's how it started with Killian."

"So we stop his magic," David insisted. "The cuff, if we can get it on him, whatever magic he's using should be contained."

"I'll get the taser," Snow said with a half smile.

Emma thought she was kidding, but by the time she returned from her house with the cuff, her mother was indeed armed with both bow and taser as promised.

"You ready for this?" She held out both hands to her parents.

"You mean like poof?" Snow asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah, I mean like poof. Why not catch him off guard for once?"

* * *

This time Emma did kick down the door. It wasn't anywhere near as effective as she hoped it would be. In fact, the only person that moved was the barkeep who, sensing that things were about to get dangerous again took the opportunity to run out the backdoor while Hyde was distracted. Hook instead simply took a shot of something, shuddering slightly before standing and grinning at Emma.

"You really must try this, dear. Cinnamon and rum, it's delicious."

She had known he would be this way, known that Hook was still free and Killian still lost, but actually seeing it brought warmth to her eyes again. She blinked away the tears before anyone noticed.

"I'm not here for a drink, Hook" she said, steeling herself and stalking into the room.

Hyde smiled his predatory smile as she approached, watching him warily for any sign of the serum he had used to incapacitate her the last time, but before she could reach him she ran smack into something that burned like magic and made her stumble backwards.

"What the hell?" Emma gasped, "More tricks?"

"I took some… precautions after you so rudely invaded my space the last time, Ms Swan. Doubtless you could break through eventually. But you won't have time."

Before Emma could ask what he meant by that, Hyde turned on Hook, pulling a revolver from under his coat. Emma raised her hands to fling the weapon away but the barrier was apparently just as impermeable to magic. A shot echoed through the room. Emma heard Snow cry out from behind her and spun, her parents were still trapped a few steps behind her. For a moment all was quiet and then Hook let out a small sound, barely a whimper but enough to draw her attention back to him. He raised his hand to his stomach, trying futilely to staunch a sudden flow of blood.

He stumbled, looked up at her for a moment, then fell. On instinct Emma threw herself forward, a near inaudible ' _no'_ on her lips, but she found herself blocked again, the burning magic as solid as concrete.

"By all means, take a closer look." Hyde taunted. The wall vanished from under her fingertips and Emma dove forward again, meeting another wall mere steps from where Hook now lay.

"Now, Ms. Swan," Hyde said, stepping over Hook to approach the wall. "I am sure you'd have no difficulty in patching up your dear pirate, could you get to him. So now I offer you this deal. Give me that cuff that you intend to use on me, and I'll let you through. I'll even let you save his life before I put it on you."

"Why would I do that?," Emma challenged, her nails digging into her palms as she tried to keep her voice from shaking. "He's working with you."

"I'll let you guess, dear, what your chances of saving Killian are once Hook's heart stops beating. It's your choice, Emma. Only one thing is certain. He will die, if you refuse. Perhaps this time it will stick."

Blood was pooling rapidly around him and his eyes were glassy and unfocused already. Her head clouded in panic and suddenly it didn't matter that it was Hook. Because Hyde was right, she'd never get her Killian back if Hook bled out right here, a mere breath away from where she could reach him.

"Damn you," she said finally, the words barely audible. She pulled the cuff from her pocket with shaking fingers. "You can have it, just please…please let me help him."

"That's a good girl. Toss it here, and we'll call it a deal."

Emma threw the cuff towards Hyde and it sailed through the wall with ease. Emma followed it a moment later, kneeling next to Hook and splaying her fingers over his wound. A warm glow surrounded her fingers and the flow of blood slowed as the torn tissue began to heal under her touch. Before she was finished, she felt her magic sputter again, quenched by the cuff that Hyde snapped onto her wrist.

Hook sat up slowly, still clenching the wound with his free hand, confusion clear in his eyes. "Thank you, Emma. I wasn't certain you would still-"

Emma started when she felt the chill of metal around her wrist as one handcuff closed, she pulled herself away but he dragged her back with his hook, locking the other cuff behind her with his free hand.

"See how much you like the cuffs, dear," he commented, relieving her of her weapon and turning with a grimace toward Hyde. "That was bloody close."

"You said that she would not let you die. I'm hardly to blame that Ms Swan hesitated."

"You could at least have let her finish plugging the hole," he retorted, wincing as he slid out of the reach of Emma's pointed elbow jabbing desperately behind her. Hyde approached with the red serum and grabbed her arm in a vicegrip.

"It won't work," a voice cried and Emma looked past Hyde to where her parents were still trapped behind the barrier. Hyde turned ever so slightly to glance at Snow out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh I very much suspect the contrary," he commented dryly.

"When she was a child we... we took the darkness out of her," Snow said, moving forward and then flinching back at contact with the wall. "She doesn't have any darkness to separate out."

Hyde chuckled darkly. "Is that so?" He turned back to Emma with a grin, "and you've no darkness left in you? No darkness that you've… chosen." Emma pulled back, trying to break the man's grip, but he seemed not to even notice her struggles. "We shall see what darkness is still in you, savior."

Suddenly a second shot rang out and Emma jumped, her ears ringing from the blast right behind her. Had Hook… shot her? She looked down, stunned but feeling no pain. Then Hyde's grip loosened on her arm and he fell.

Killian.

Emma spun and before Hyde could hit the ground she threw herself into Killian's arms knocking him backwards into the table. She heard her parents running up behind her, freed from the magic that bound them when Hyde fell.

"Killian."

"I knew it," he said quietly, pressing his nose into her neck. "I knew it couldn't be true."

"What?"

"Arthur told me I didn't get a happy ending. But I knew it couldn't be true. You don't deserve to be abandoned again. Never again."

Emma tightened her grip and he hissed in pain. Killian's weight was suddenly heavy on her shoulders, and she sank to the ground, realizing in dismay that he was still bleeding and terribly pale. She reached for her magic to finish closing his wound, forgetting for a moment that she still wore the cuff.

"Get this thing off of me," Emma cried.

"It's all right, Emma, " Killian's quiet voice cut through her rising panic as he reached for her wrist, using his hook to loosen the cuff. The moment it was gone her magic flared to life again and she rested glowing hands over what remained of his wound.

The light faded and Emma pressed her fingers to his stomach, reassuring herself that he was no longer bleeding. "Killian? You alright?"

"I'll survive." He grinned, eyes a little hazy but with a hint of a smirk nonetheless. He moved to tug her into him, but she was already there, lacing her fingers into his hair and pressing her lips to his gently. "I missed you," he murmured when she finally pulled away to breathe.

"Well in that case," she jabbed him lightly in the shoulder, "What. Took. You. So. Damn. Long." Instead of responding he tugged her in again, kissing her hard. Her fingers gripped his jacket until her knuckles turned white, and the world disappeared for a few precious moments ... until David coughed loudly behind her.

"And I missed you too, pirate," David groaned, " but if you keep kissing my daughter like that in front of me someone is going to get shot again and it won't be her."

"David," Snow chastised gently.

They broke apart laughing and she pressed her forehead to Killian's. "I'm getting you a bulletproof vest," Emma told him

"If you kiss me like that after I get shot, I shall refuse to wear it."

She rolled her eyes and caught sight of Hyde's body out of the corner of her eye; with a flick of her fingers it crumbled to dust.

"Good riddance," Killian murmured.

They heard a commotion from outside the bar and Emma shook her head. "No," she whined. The commotion grew closer and now they could hear someone yelling. " _No_ ," she repeated.

The door of the bar smashed open and Grumpy rushed inside.

"We're under attack!" he cried.

Emma dropped her head onto Killian's shoulder, "No!"

"Yeah, sister, some nut named Dantes, says he's looking for Snow!"

David turned to Snow, "Old friend?"

"Not that I know of." She turned to Grumpy, "Any magic?"

"No, but he's trying his best to make dwarf kabob."

To Emma's surprise her mother just laughed. "All right, we got this one, Emma. We will call you the instant we need anything. Oh, Killian, I'll need my phone back." Killian glanced up at her in confusion, checking his coat obligingly and looking thoroughly perplexed when he pulled it from his pocket.

"I'm not letting you do this alone," Emma protested, standing and helping Killian to his feet, noting with some concern that he didn't seem particularly steady just yet.

"I think we can handle one nut with a sword." David said, "you can't fight every single threat that comes to town."

"Isn't that kind of in the Savior's job description?" Emma asked half-heartedly.

David laughed, "all right, then save Killian."

"Oy. I'm f-" Charming shot Killian a dirty look and he altered course abruptly "-feeling… a little light headed now that I think about it."

Snow gave Emma a kiss on her forehead, "Go, sweetheart. Sleep. Eat. Relax. We'll see you at dinner."

Emma's gaped at her parents and they gave her a cheerful wave as they dragged Grumpy from the bar in search of the next adventure.

"Did I just get… put on mandatory leave from savior duty?" Emma asked, eyes still on the door as though she were yet tempted to follow.

"Are you complaining?" Killian asked dropping his arm over her shoulder.

Emma considered it for a moment then pulled out her phone, checking to see that the volume was all the way up, a smile growing over her face.

"Let's go home."

* * *

 _ **OoooooKay! Hope you all enjoyed it. Couple comments about things people have mentioned in reviews now that it's over:**_

 _ **YES I want milah to be freed as well, but I decided early on that this reality was in Killian's head, an extension of his struggle to feel that he deserves a happy ending... so :'(**_

 _ **Also Arthur. Yes, Arthur was in Killian's head. Still more or less in character because that is how Killian remembers him, but Arthur also serves another purpose. Arthur is the voice of doubt in Killian's mind. The subconscious belief that self-sacrifice is all he's good for now, because he doesn't deserve a happy ending. And the idea he had to choose against in order to defeat hyde's trick and return to Emma**_

 _ **Thank you to everyone who left me comments of substance and flailing alike. I really appreciate it, you guys keep me going.**_


End file.
